We’ve got a lot on in the brand new Upset bunker at the moment. Stuff to write, shelves to put up, things to drill into other things – so much, so boring. That means we need a hand interviewing our favourite bands. ‘Why not cut out the middle man’, we thought. ‘Get them to do it themselves.’
So, that’s exactly what we’ve done. The fabulous God Damn, and the equally brilliant Radkey are currently ‘on the road’ together. Tonight, they’ll play their final show of the run in London at the Barfly. Right now, they’re interviewing each other for your reading pleasure. What could possibly go wrong?
Isaiah answers questions from God Damn
Tell us about St Joseph, Missouri. What goes on there? What’s it like to live there? Any facts?
It’s a pretty boring place and it’s the birthplace of Eminem and the death place of the outlaw Jesse James.
If you HAD to eat a slice of pizza with body parts on it, what three parts would you choose?
Obviously lips, ears and eyelids.
How much would you drink a pint of my bath water (post gig) for?
£500 and can we arrange this for tonight?
Being brothers, I imagine you all grew up in the same household. Who is the most sensible member of Radkey, and who is most annoying?
Sol is most sensible and Isaiah most annoying.
Give me a song that you’ve changed the words, to make it funny.
We would change Weird Al’s sing “Eat It” to Beat It.
If you could go to any city in the world right now, where would it be, and why?
Kansas City because there is no place like home.
What is your favourite animal?
Cats and we have 5 (Richie, Rosco G.S. Jenkins, Joel, Booster and Quick Orange)
If you could have a drink/blaze with anyone in history, who would it be?
Bill Clinton because that would be a chill hang and he could dish mad shit.
I shave all your bodies bald, how much would you want for the hair?
Not unlike Samson we receive our strength from our hair and we would be lost and very odd looking without it.
What is your least favourite question to be asked in an interview?
How would you feel if all your loved ones were dead?
Thom answers questions from Radkey
If you could have one super power which one would you choose?
An evil stare that makes people shit their pants, literally!!! Captain Turd.
You’re in the U.S. and you come face to face with a Sasquatch(Bigfoot). What’s your first move?
Rip all my clothes off so he thinks I’m the alpha male squatch and make a roar!!! If that fails put my pants on said Sasquatch and give him the Turd Stare and watch him waddle back to his little sassy den.
Aisle, middle or window, which is your preferred airplane seat?
Window if I’ve taken some calms, I’m like mad scared of heights but I quite like taking off, it’s tall buildings and bridges that scare me a little.
Favorite breakfast meal?
Quite sad really seeing as you’re American, this going to make me look like a creep but there’s an American diner chain which I love in the UK called OK diner. My order is the Yankee Doodle Dandy breakfast, you know the score, but I add an extra black pudding.
You’re on a deserted island and you can only have one album, one film and one type of cuisine?
A photo album, cling film and magic beans.
Ultimate dream vehicle?
This is a tough one. It’d probably be a McLaren F1, I would drive it for a week or two, sell it and make my life a little more than more comfortable, probably buy a Lotus Elise to make up for it.
If you could verbally communicate with one type of animal which would you choose?
Snails, they always seem so sad and I could cheer them up with some jokes about slugs. Plus…I’d be able to hear them shout “Nooooooo!” just before I accidentally always crush their shells, worst feeling ever!
Werewolf or vampire?
I’m very squeamish so it would have to be Werewolf, plus I’m halfway there anyway.
Is there a song that pumps you up so much that you could run through a brick wall or at least makes you think you could?
Pissed Jeans- False Jesse Pt2. Hence the broken nose.
If you became professional wrestlers what would you call yourselves?
Thomas the Turdman Eyes.